The Lady of the Rings
by Alyssa-Anime-Angel
Summary: ON HOLD! Based on Movie, so same rating. Think, crazy chicks as the Female fellowship with a magic bag of tricks, broken fingernails, creamy screwdrivers and the evil Sauronica out to destroy the world! Sick sadistic humour. Read and Review (NO MARY SUES)
1. Prologue: One Ring to Rule Them All

The Lady of the Rings 

Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel

Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and Kael.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, nor any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters.

Please don't sue!

Prologue: One Ring to Rule Them All… A sweet but manly voice spoke in soft passionate, enticing words… 

**_The world has changed,_**

**_I feel it in the water_**

I feel it in the earth 

**_I smell it in the air_**

**_Much that once was is lost_**

For none now live who remember it. 

**_It began with the forging of the great rings._**

**_Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings._**

Seven to the dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls.

**_And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of men, who above all else, desire power. _**

**_For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race._**

**_But they were all of them, deceived, for another ring was made._**

**_In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lady Sauronica forged in secret a Master Ring, to control all others and into this ring she poured her cruelty, her malice and her will to dominate all life._**

Fire swirled around the metallic figure of the great Sauronica as she raised her hand to marvel at her creation. Clad in a metal armor that was impervious to almost all weapons, her blood red hair flowed over her body as she embraced the fire of her mountain as a swan embraces the river. A mask of horrific design could neither hide her soulless eyes or her twisted smile and she could almost taste her victory as the writing on the ring glowed red, the red of fire, the red of blood.

**_One Ring to Rule them All._**

Houses were burnt to the ground by hordes of invading Aukes, who sought blood and destruction. To please their mistress, the hideous creatures pillaged, murdered and tortured the free peoples of Middle Earth. 

**_One by one, the free lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Ring._**

**_But there were some who resisted, a last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth._**

Thousands upon thousands of Elves and Man, clad in silver armor marched towards the mob of Aukes on the slopes of a raging, fire breathing mountain. They were led by the strongest of elves and men, and they went knowing that death was likely. One she-elf stood like a shining beacon of light as she ordered the armies to fire their arrows. Her name was Eldeen. The armies of the free-peoples fired and hundreds of Aukes fell under the onslaught. 

**_Victory was near._**

One man raised his sword in defiance, he was a great King among men and he stared down the towering figure of Sauronica as she came to destroy him.

**_But the power of the ring could not be undone._**

Sauronica swung her sword and the sheer ferocity of the blow turned the very air into a weapon as men, elves and Aukes were blown away, straight into death. The Great King approached Sauronica but was also sent to his death by her blade. His daughter running to see his last breath.

It was in this moment when all hope had faded, that Isis; daughter of the King took up her father's sword.

Sauronica stood on the sword breaking it, but in a moment of grief, Isis's strength was doubled and she used the sharp cut of the broken sword to amputate the Ring and fingers from Sauronica. And in a flash of light the monstrous leader exploded into dust, leaving a shock wave that threw all the armies off their feet. The mask that had hidden the malevolent tyrant's face fell silently, isolated to the ground. 

Sauronica, the enemy of the free people's of Middle Earth, was defeated.

Isis had succeeded in destroying the enemy and held the Ring of Power in her hand, clasping it as though it was her own.

**_The Ring passed to Isis, who had this one chance to destroy the Ring forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted and the Ring of Power has a will of it's own._**

Isis kept the ring to herself, but with some show of wisdom never wore it around her finger. While being escorted by her soldiers, the party was attacked, and Isis was shot full of arrows. Her body was thrown into the river and the ring, detached from her, fell to the river floor.   

**_It betrayed Isis to her death. And some things that should not have been forgotten, were lost. History became legend, legend became myth and for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge, until when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer._**

A wide-eyed, simple creature happened to come across the ring and took it for her own, murmuring, "My Precious".

The Ring came to the creature Georgia, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there it consumed her.

The creature lived in a dank cave, alone with the ring and she like others before her, believed it to be her own. She would sit alone for hours upon hours and simply caress the ring, "It came to me, my own, my love, my own, my precious." 

**_The Ring brought to Georgia unnaturally long life, for five hundred years it poisoned her mind and in the gloom of Georgia's cave, it waited._**

**_Darkness crept back into the forest of the world; whispers of a nameless fear, and the Ring of Power perceived its time had come._**

**_It abandoned Georgia, but something happened then, the Ring did not intend, it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable, a hobbit, Belinda Baggins of the Shire._**

The short female hobbit bent down in the tunnels to pick up the intriguing item and she took it with her, running from the howls of a twisted creature, "Lost! My precious is lost."

For the time soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

ALYSSA: Chapter 1: The Shire, And Please REVIEW!!! Want lots, and it doesn't take much time.


	2. Chapter 1: The Shire

The Lady of the Rings 

Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel

Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and, Kael, Ruby and Talis.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters though Lulu_Shinigami _and_ Youko_Demon own the two nicknames, Azza and Bozza, which will be in later chapters.

Please don't sue or put pixistix up your nose!

Chapter 1 – The Shire

*The Shire…60yrs later than all the other stuff*

A gentle wind played with Frolo's hair as she sat under a Great Elm tree reading one of her Aunt's books. The small hobbit was wearing a lovely green and brown dress that blended in with the serenity of the countryside of the Shire. She felt the rich earth between her toes and was content with the harmony that preluded the stifling atmosphere of the coming party. She was just getting to her favorite part of the book about the dragon when she heard a quiet humming and a rumbling of a cart. Wondering if she should have had that extra burrito last night, she heard the sound again but louder. Finally knowing exactly who it was, Frolo jumped up in excitement and turned to see the kindly old witch steering her horse drawn cart down the path, a smile broadening on the little hobbits face. Gynx the Grand, a title she gave to herself, was smiling at her little friend and she slowed the horse to a halt. Wind ruffled the woman's green cape and her silver-blue hair flowed like a river around her face, a face, which showed all the joy of seeing the short, curly, black haired, child-like creature again.

Frolo grinned, secretly wondering if she'd get something like last time and criticized, "You're late!"

Gynx frowned slightly and with that knowing gleam in her eyes replied, "A Witch is never late, Frolo Baggins. Nor will I ever be early, I always arrive precisely when I mean too."

"Late!" the hobbit persisted.

"Early enough for the food," Gynx replied staring into her friends eyes.

Frolo met the witch's challenge and the two stared at each other for a few seconds before, unable to control themselves, they burst out in laughter. No one really knew what they were laughing at, but anyone that was close just tried to ignore them.

"It's bloody brilliant to see you again Gynx!" Frolo exclaimed while jumping into the larger woman's arms to embrace her in a hug, however Gynx turned around to face the front of the cart leaving the hobbit to fall flat on her face.

"Sorry, but no touchies."

Frolo sat up and tried to glare at the witch but she couldn't contain herself and burst out laughing. Gynx became infected and through giggles said, "You couldn't have thought that I would miss you're aunt's birthday party. Who would eat all the food?"

"Oh I think we would have managed," Frolo replied, thoroughly pissed of that she wouldn't get anything _and she couldn't have the joy of stuffing her face and not having to worry about impressing some witch.  _

Frolo and Gynx passed the great yellow fields of flowers heading along the rough path to Bagg-end.

Frolo familiar with the sight of her fellow hobbit's lives asked, "What news of the outside world? I want you to tell me everything."

Gynx looked down at her companion trusting the pony to stay on track, "Everything? You're far too eager and curious for a hobbit." Gynx peered into the Hobbit's eyes looking for anything normal in her friend, 'DAMN! Your strange' she thought, finding nothing, she commented, "Most unnatural."

Frolo's bright blue eyes looked up in innocence and curiosity and Gynx started to tell her what she wanted to hear, "Well, what can I tell you? Life in the world goes on, much as it has this past age. Full of it's own comings and goings. Scarcely aware of the existence of hobbits, for which I am very thankful, It makes me feel special you know."

Gynx was slightly distracted when going through the market place as a hairy, male hobbit that had always had a fascination with Gynx called out, "Look its Gynx, care for a kiss?"

Gynx called back, "Much as it would please me, I really must be seeing the birthday girl."

Passing out of the market place and into Bagg-end, Frolo burst out laughing as Gynx visibly shivered.

Gynx looked away from the giggling girl and saw tents being put up and a large sign being raised that read, 'Happy Birthday, Belinda Baggins.'

"Oh, the long-expected party?" Gynx commented and turning to Frolo asked, "It looks more like a circus, anyway how is the old rascal?"

Frolo hesitated in answering a second and Gynx went on, "I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence."

Frolo laughed, "You know Belinda, she's got the whole place in an uproar."

"Ah well, that should please her," Gynx shook her head at the simple pleasure people get at the thought of having their way.

Frolo exclaimed, "Half the Shire's been invited."

Gynx looking quite surprised burst out, "Oh Gracious me."

Frolo turned to Gynx and with an inquiring thought said, "She's up to something," hoping to get Gynx's thoughts on the matter.

Gynx pretending to be an innocent bystander, "Oh really?"

Frolo frowned, starting to pout and look pathetic, "All right then. Keep your secrets."

Gynx started laughing at her hobbit friend for knowing herself too well.

Frolo added, "Before you came along, we Baggins'es were very well thought of…"

The witch smarted, "Indeed."

"Never had any adventures. Or did anything unexpected."

Gynx looked mildly aghast, "If you're referring to the incident with the Dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give you're aunt a little push out the door, and that cream pasty, oh and that…hmm, never mind."

Frolo disputed, "Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace."

Gynx grinned, "Oh really?"

Gynx looked to the left of the path and saw a little old man sweeping his pathway. As if in answer to Gynx's question he looked up at Gynx with a disapproving look on his face. A female hobbit, obviously this man's wife walked out the front door and glared at Gynx willing them to be on their way and to not ever bother her again.

'Oooo bitchy!' Gynx was pulled away from her thought by a little boy hobbit running out onto the path, "Gynx, Gynx," he called.

Several other children joined the boy and called out to the kindly witch. Gynx saw them running to intersect the cart. She knew what they were after.

"Fireworks, Gynx."

"Gynx."

They emerged on the path behind the cart and looked on in disappointment as the cart trundled along.

Frolo looked to Gynx with a knowing look on her face.

Gynx looked slightly uncertain and then with her lips suddenly rising, the bangs of fireworks alerted the children to look.

"Yay!" The children jumped up and down as lights burst in different colors and the bangs of fireworks lit their little skies.

However one of the fireworks malfunctioned causing a large soot cloud to cover the children. 

"Oops."

Frodo smiled and Gynx laughed as they moved away from the scene of the crime.

Looking on from their little house the man laughed a little, at the blackened children, but was immediately silenced by his wife. They both continued to sneer at the cart slowly leaving their road while one of the hobbits heads caught on fire and started yelling, "help me, help me."

The other children pushed the boy into a pond and they all started to giggle.

(AN: That was not my input, blame Fox for that little spectacle.)

Frolo sincerely said, "Gynx, I'm glad you're back!"

Gynx softened, "So am I, my dear friend."

Frolo jumped off the cart and waved as she walked away, not knowing that there was another reason that Gynx was so glad to be here.

Gynx shook her head in delight and continued on to her old friend's house, shivering at the thought of Saruman trying to get a date with her, oddly enough, she started talking to herself, "So am I."

The path steeped and Gynx directed the horse to go up. Finally they arrived in front of a cozy bright blue house built out of a small hill.

"Whoa, Whoa," Gynx muttered to the horse.

The horse slowed to a halt and Gynx grabbed Malik, her dragon headed staff and jumped agilely out of the cart. She walked over to the gate which read, '_No admittance, except on party business_… Unless you bring food.'

Gynx walked through, the gate clicking shut as she approached the wooded door of Belinda's house.

ALYSSA: Well so ends the first chapter, Review Please!!!! And now to write on another fanfic. Also don't blame me for language. Not that is really that bad…hem; anyway hope to have the next chappie up soon. Anyway next chapter is Chapter 2: Very old friends. And sorry the chapters are so short.


	3. Chapter 2: Very Old Friends

The Lady of the Rings 

Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel

Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and, Kael, Ruby and Talis.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters though Lulu_Shinigami _and_ Youko_Demon own the two nicknames, Azza and Bozza, which will be in later chapters.

Please don't sue or put pixistix up your nose!

Also in the first chapter, I put used the word Men a few times when you thought I should have used women, it's just that not everyone is a woman and also I am still calling the Race of Men, that. Sorry for the confusion and hope this clears it up. And also though Sauron has a mace, Sauronica has a sword cause I thought it would look better on her.

Also everybody know that it was Sauronica's birthday recently, so give her a big Happy Birthday!

And thank you to all my reviewers; ALEX_MISTRESS_SQUIRREL, KIWI05, LALAITHIEL, DARTH T-REX, CRYSTYNA, RUBY_SERVANT_OF_ELI.

Chapter 2 – Very Old Friends

Gynx approached the door, and raising her staff, Malik, she knocked four times. Lowering her staff, she let the wind ruffle her hair and swirl her cape in a very suspense growing action.

A voice broke the melodramatic air with, "No thank you, we don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, lawyers or incessant relations."

Gynx laughed and called out, "And what about very old friends?"

The witch watched the door creak open and an old female hobbit peer out from behind the wood. The little hobbit had blond hair with streaks of gray and vivid brown eyes. Frankly she didn't look a day over seventy.

She took in a breath and whispered, "Gynx?"

"Belinda Baggins!"

Belinda smiled and with eyes watering she exclaimed, "My dear Gynx."

The two approached each other and Gynx bent down to give the hobbit a hug.

Gynx laughed, "Good to see you. One hundred and eleven years old. Who would believe it? You haven't aged a day. You really must tell me how!"

At this last sentence Gynx's face changed to one of confusion and surprise at how true it was. Belinda just smiled at her and they both broke out into laughter at this miracle as Gynx stood up.

Belinda led Gynx into her home, "Come in, come in. Watch the mat, it's an antique."

Belinda held onto the door as Gynx had to bend over to enter her small house, "Welcome, welcome. Oh here we are." Belinda shut the door as Gynx straightened up. 

As always the gracious host Belinda took Gynx's hat and staff and lent them against a wall cupboard. Belinda asked, "Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger? I've got a few bottles of the old Winyard left. 1296."

Belinda left to the kitchen and Gynx made to follow, having to duck under the chandelier or risk impaling herself.

Belinda was muttering half to herself, half to Gynx, "Very good year, almost as old as I am." Belinda laughed at something that was unfathomable to anyone else and went on, "It was laid down by my mother, what say we open one, eh?"

Gynx profusely refused, "Just tea, thank you." 

Gynx was trying to find her way to Belinda, when she accidentally backed up into the Chandelier, "Oh."

She set about the task of stopping the ceiling piece stable and when she had finally achieved it, she tuned to go into another room and banged her forehead on a rafter, "Shit!"

Proceeding to rub her forehead she entered the room, having to bend down. The room was extremely messy and there were books and papers everywhere and Gynx heard Belinda muttering, "I was expecting you sometime last week. But you come and go as you please. Not that it matters; you have always done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared I'm afraid. We've only got cold chicken..."

Gynx slowly made her way to the sound of Belinda's voice.

"and pickle…oh there's some chee…here. Oh no, that wont do. Err, we've got raspberry jam, an apple tart…"

Gynx looked down at the table and pulled out a map.

"But not much for _afters_, Oh no, were alright."

Gynx flicked her hair out of her eyes and started to glaze over the map.

"I've just found some sponge cake. I could make you some egg…if you…Gynx?" Belinda looked up finally realizing that she wasn't in the same room.

"Just tea thank you," Gynx said from behind Belinda.

Belinda a little shaken said, "Oh right," while turning around to look up at Gynx.

Belinda seeking to resolve herself shoved the sponge cake in her mouth and started to chew, "Mind if I eat?"

Gynx a little repulsed humored the hobbit, "Oh no, not at all."

There was a knock at the door and Belinda froze in her spot, fear evident on her face. She coughed out the rest of her food and backed up against the wall.

A female voice called out, "Belinda! Belinda Baggins!" 

Belinda whispered to Gynx, "I'm not home."

"Ahh?" Gynx laughed comprehending.

The knocking continued.

"I've got to get away from these confounded relatives…hanging on the bell-end, never giving me a moments peace."

Gynx took a seat as the female hobbit outside gives up on finding her second cousin on her mother's side, three times removed.

Belinda heaved, "I want to see Mountains again, Mountains Gynx! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book. I also want to write a romance novel. One about a fair elf lord and a quiet, lonely, peaceful, loving, caring, mature she-hobbit. They fall in love but it cannot be for though she has found her soul mate, she cannot bare to have him give up immortality… Oh Tea!" Belinda stood up and went to get the teapot.

Gynx said, "So you mean to go through with your plan?"

Belinda sighed, "Yes, yes, its all in hand," while picking up the pot, "All the arrangements are made."

The small hobbit carried the pot over to the witch whom picked up the lid.

"Oh thank you. So you do have some courtesy in your bones."

Gynx looked sincerely to Belinda and spoke with concern, "Fruit loop (for those who don't know, this is Frolo) suspects something."

Belinda looked up saddened, "Of course she does, she's a Baggins…not some block headed gray scale from Hardbottle."

Gynx asked, "You will tell her wont you?"

Belinda burnt her hands on the pot and stepped back and said absently, "Yes, yes."

Gynx continued, "She's very fond of you."

Belinda looked up hesitantly, "I know, she'd probably come with me if I asked her. Humph, I think in her heart, Frolo's still in love with the Shire and that little Bell-end brat. Thinks he's such a hot shot, prancing around with all those girls' hearts after him. If I were not so old, I would teach him a few things about stringing girls along…sorry I am babbling again."

Gynx nodded in acknowledgment.

"Anyway what was I saying, aha that's right, the woods, the fields, little rivers," Belinda turned away from Gynx, "I am old Gynx. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart."

Gynx eyed Belinda's hand in her pocket and felt a faint malevolent presence in the room.

Belinda continued as she sat down, "I feel thin, sort of stretched like butter scraped over too much bread or a bun, I like buns…hmm, I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect to return, in fact I mean not to."

*Dusk later that day*

The two old friends looked over the party scene gathering at the bottom of the hill and they started to feel the party air approaching.

The two were smoking pipes…a very unbecoming look for two "ladies".

Belinda looking extremely satisfied while taking a puff, "Old Toby, the finest weed in the South Farthing."

She took another deeper puff letting the smoke fill her lungs and she let out the air, which formed a smoke ring. She was obviously proud of herself.

Gynx deciding to show her prowess with the pipe took in a deep breath and blew out a puff of smoke.

The smoke shifted and twisted until forming into a dragon. The dragon soared through Belinda's smoke ring and performed a double twist before disappearing.

Belinda a more than a little peeved muttered under her breath, "Show off!"

Gynx looked up with a glint in her eyes, "Did you just say something?"

"No not at all, you know my old friend…this will be a night to remember."

Meanwhile in the dank dark fortress of Mount Doom the ever-watchful eye of the Dark Lady Sauronica glared over all that was within her reach. She had as of yet not been able to take physical form, though her mind and wrath was as sharp as ever. After all, planning the downfall and conquering of all of Middle Earth was no easy task. 

Sauronica watched her little minions far on the ground below her like they were her little pet mice. Though there was nothing cute and fluffy about her precious Aukes. They were nasty spiteful beings, twisted and deformed elves that were torn from the light into the dark. They spent their lives doing the Dark Lady's bidding, killing, wrecking and torturing, all things that the dark thrives on. The Great Sauronica was scheming, waiting and destroying all in her quest to retrieve what was stolen. Soon her precious would be within her grasp, and then the world would no nothing but her fury and her malevolence. Every now and then she would catch glimpses of her ring, and though the visions were short and hazy, still she sent out her Aukes with the help of Ohp. The terrifying, mystical Ohp communicated her orders to all the little Aukes. What you may ask is the Ohp, nothing but the second greatest force in the world, it strikes fear in the hearts of all those who hear it's name and none can resist it's influence. 

Soon she thought, soon the time would come when the two would again be one, and all of Middle Earth would bow before her.

To be continued…

ALYSSA: Well that ends Chapter 2, hope you liked and please review. Also check out my other fics and all my friends fics, they're in my fav authors list, so please read…it's an order! Well write to ya all soon.


	4. Chapter 3: The Long expected Party

The Lady of the Rings 

Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel

Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and, Kael, Ruby and Talis.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters though Lulu_Shinigami _and_ Youko_Demon own the two nicknames, Azza and Bozza, which will be in later chapters.

Please don't sue or put pixistix up your nose!

Oh and I have mentioned several mixed alcoholic drinks in here, so don't take them the wrong way all the time, you'll know them when you see them.

Chapter 3 – The Long-expected Party 

The vast starry sky was alight with bursting fireworks and the great field was filled with the sound of laughter and music. 

Amongst the crowd of small people, one was obviously the star attraction. This little curly haired virgin was dancing to the music, "Oh Yeah, walk like an Egyptian."

While Frolo was attracting the attention of almost all the guys around, her best friend Sammy Gamgee, was spying on dear, dear Ross.

He was dancing as well, and almost as popular as Frolo, with his 'da da da da staying alive, staying alive'.

Belinda Baggins, the recipient of the party was smoozing (humoring them while desperately trying to get away) the relatives and trying desperately to sneak a Sea Cow to drown out their monotonous chatter of their dreary lives.

Frolo resigned from being a star, and joined Sammy, who was looking positively miserable, as Ross hadn't noticed her.

"Go on Sammy, ask Ross for a dance."

Sammy grunted then replied, "I think I'll just have another Bloody Caesar."

"Oh no you don't!" and with that last comment she pushed Sammy over to Ross, however along the way she tripped over another guys foot.

Frolo started to laugh and then she realized it was Rooster!

"Rooter, hmm I mean hey Rooster!" Frolo ran out and joined hands with the guy and started dirty dancing.

Sammy got up and stalked away going to down a few Creamy Screwdrivers, Orgasms, Prince Edwards and Kiss in the Dark's.

Another blast of fireworks lit the sky creating a contrast to the mood Belinda was trying to create. The old hobbit was sitting in front of several small children who looked hypnotized. Though it could have just been the alcohol they had been given earlier.

"So there I was, at the mercy of three monstrous trolls and they were arguing amongst themselves how they were going to cook us. Whether it be turned on a stick or if they should sit on us one by one, squash us to jelly. They spent so much time arguing whithertos and whyfors that the sun's first light crept over the trees, POOF, and turned them to stone. Then a mysterious stranger appeared. He stepped out from the shadows and his masculine body and long golden hair stopped my heart. He walked up to me and picked me up into his arms and bent down and…"

Luckily some one interrupter her before the minds of the small children were corrupted, "OH MY FAIR GYNX, WHERE ARE YOU!"

Gynx who was cracking herself up, heard the voice and quickly got a small box out of her cloak.

The he-hobbit walked up to her and she said, "Oh I have been looking for you, I have a present." She handed him the box and said, "Well open it."

The hobbit opened it and was suddenly sucked inside. 

"Mhuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…hmmm, need to get a life."

Two little she-hobbits sneakily emerged from behind a tent as Gynx walked away with the little box in her hands. 

One was kinda dumb looking and the other had very poofy hair.

"Quickly," said the poofy haired one as she hauled the dumb one into the cart. PH is poofy hair and D is dumbo.

PH saw D pick up a small stick, "No, no the big one."

D grabbed it and they ran into a tent.

D set it alight and muttered, "Done."

"It should be in the ground."

"It is in the ground."

"OUTSIDE!"

"It was your idea!"

In a blast of smoke the tent was blasted into the air with the firework under its fabric.

The two hobbits were blown backwards and they looked up into the air to see a great flurry of lights. Their faces were completely covered in soot.

The light changed into looking like a dragon. 

Fear burned in the hearts of the hobbits as they lacked any sort of mental reasoning when they saw the dragon.

They all ran from the light dragon and Frolo who also had quite a small brain grabbed onto Belinda and dragged her away, "Belinda, watch out for the dragon."

"Nonsense, there hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years."

Everyone fell to the ground as the "Dragon" swooped and they looked at it as it passed them and turned into nothingness.

Finally realizing there was no danger, and with no annoyance at being deceived they cheered, cheered for the wonderful view as their bodies were squashed by everyone else.

"That was good," said PH.

"Let's get another one."

They nodded at each other grinning but their hopes came crashing down as their ears were grabbed by some unseen foe from behind.

The tall witch squeezed hard and they looked up at the not so kindly looking face, "Maryaday Brandybuck *PH* and Priscilla Took *D*. I might have known, I really should have known, if that little toad hadn't bugged me and I been forced to confine him to my dungeon and then had a crisis of conscience."

The two little gals were muttering curses under their breath as they washed the mile high mountain of dishes. Chores they didn't mind, but not being able to fix their faces or hair, well that was just wrong!

Gynx giggled watching them while downing a Dirty Sink.

Cries called out all over the oval, "Speech."

"Speeeeech Beeelinnnnnda!"

"Speech!"

"Speech."

Belinda stood up and graced the crowd with a curtsy. Straightening she started to speak, "My Dear Bagginses and Boffins…Tooks and Bradybucks…Grubbs, Chubbs…Hornblowers…Bolgers…Bracegirdles…and proudfoots."

"Proudfeet," a voice called out from the audience.

Belinda waved it away, "Today is my hundred and eleventh birthday!"

"Happy Birthday."

Frolo's eyes glittered and her face glowed as she watched Belinda.

"But alas, one-eleven years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you as well as I'd like, and I like less than half of you, half as well as you deserve and I know that half among half of you deserve less than half to be taken out the back and shot."

"eh?"

"I uh…I have things to do."

Gynx watched curiously as Belinda pulled something out of her front right pocket and placed her hands behind her back.

"I've put this off for far too long."

Everyone looked up at the birthday girl in confusion and one little blue eyes hobbit in concern.

"I regret to announce this is the end! I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye."

Belinda waved her hand in the traditional Queenish wave before surprising everyone by disappearing. Nobody noticed that also a few seconds later, so did a piece of cake.

The shocked silence gave way to clamoring soon enough, and Gynx set her eyes in stone as she engaged in deep thought. It looked quite difficult.

ALYSSA: So how was that? I thought I outdid myself. Well Review and hope ta see ya all soon. I know it's taken a long time and LOTR TTT is out like the day after I post this chapter. Just don't hit me over the head with a mallet, like all the other reviewers do. Okay so I do actually give them the metal and gold mallets…but that is NOT the point. 

I see I am hopping off track, I guess that's just the bunny in me. Well gotta go and make sure ya review.

Did I say that already?

Well then it must be really important! Hint hint *wink wink*


	5. Chapter 4: Farewell Dear Belinda

The Lady of the Rings 

Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel

Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and, Kael, Ruby and Talis.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters though Lulu_Shinigami _and_ Youko_Demon own the two nicknames, Azza and Bozza, which will be in later chapters.

Please don't sue or put pixistix up your nose!

Chapter 4 – Farewell Dear Belinda…Good riddance!

The hobbits are heard clamoring down the hill while quick footsteps are heard on the stone steps leading up to Belinda Baggins house. The door mysteriously opens and as soon as it was again shut, the figure of Belinda Baggins just pops into view. She is laughing her head off, not literally folks. (Damn!)

A smirk crosses her face as she fiddles with a small gold ring before she places it in her pocket.

While walking into her dining room she was startled by, "That was one of the most brilliant things I have ever seen…I mean, dude! That was so cool!… hmm, I suppose I should act my age…", she clears her throat before continuing, "now I suppose you thought that was terrible clever?"

"I think so, I mean come on, did you see those faces? They were like this." *pulls a face*

"Well now I must take on the responsible adult and here is my lecture, there are many magic rings in this world. None should be used lightly…except on special occasions like when I …anyway, are you listening to me?"

"Lalilalilalila, blah blah blah."

"BEL!"

Belinda takes on a whining tone, "Oh it wah just a bit o' fun. Don't be such a stick in the mud."

"Stick in the mud, you listen to me…I am far older and much more powerful than you, you know I can pull a rabbit out of my hat…anyway you will listen to me or else."

"Yeah yeah, you're right," Belinda smiled and then muttered to herself, "anything to shut you up."

"Eh?"

"Now you will look after Frolo?"

"All three eye…I mean two eyes, as often as I can spare them."

Belinda started to pack up her stuff for the journey, "I'm leaving everything to her."

"What about the ring? Is that staying too?"

"You doubt me?"

Gynx just stared at the little being standing in front of her. She raised an eyebrow.

"Fine it's in an envelope on the mantelpiece."

Gynx didn't even have to look to know it wasn't there, "BEL!"

"Fine it's in my pocket. But why shouldn't I keep it?"

"Just leave the ring behind, is that so hard?"

Belinda faced Gynx and a truly sadistic and loopy look dawned on her face, "Well no, and yes. I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine! It came to me!"

"There's no need to take a hissy fit."

"If I'm angry, it's your fault…. Mine, my own. Myyy precious."

"Precious, have you truly lost it? Hmm, don't answer that and you should really think about seeing a shrink. Wait a minute, just hold on. Must think, think, oh come on brain work. Oh that's right," Gynx's voice suddenly went all misty and deep, "It's been called that before, but NOT by you."

"What business is it of yours what I do, I don't think you own me. You don't right?"

"Look, I think you've had that ring quite long enough, now hobbit hand it over!"

"You want it for yourself!" Belinda gasped and her eyes widened.

"Well it would look positively fabulous on me, but No, of course not."

"Liar!"

"Belinda Baggins! Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks," Gynx glared as the darkness grew behind her and her cape swirled while she raised her power. After getting over her pride she said, "Look I am not trying to rob you."

Gynx took a deep breath and the darkness subsided, "I am trying to help you."

Belinda in a fit of cowardice and shame whimpered while Gynx started to patronize her.

"All your long years, we've been friends. Trust me as you once did. Let it go."

"You're right Gynx, the ring must go to Frolo. It's late the road is long, yes it is time."

Belinda threw her little knapsack over her back and went to the door and opened it.

Preparing to step outside she was halted by, "Belinda!"

"Hmm?"

"The ring is still in your pocket," Gynx matter-of-factly said.

"Yes," said Belinda while in a kinda trance. She held the ring in her palm then just dropped it to the floor.

It fell in slow motion in Gynx's eyes and she saw that it hit the ground as though it were made of lead.

Belinda walked outside and Gynx went to the door and watched her go.

Belinda though suddenly turned around at the gate, "Oh yes, I have thought of an ending to my book; 'And she got her own tv show and lived happily ever after to the end of her days.'… Okay, so it still needs a little work."

She then turned back to the path and walked on, not hearing Gynx's last comment.

"And I'm sure you will, my dear friend."

"Good bye Gynx," Belinda rang out.

"Seeya Old Buddy."

Gynx was about to walk back inside when she heard a tune from down the road.

Belinda was singing, "This is the road that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend. No matter what you're doing you know not where you're going, cause this is the road that never ends…"

Gynx muttered as she stepped inside, "I hate that song. She really has lost all her marbles."

ALYSSA: I want to thank all of my future reviewers…*sending coercive thoughts through the computer to make people hit the little review button down there and write some deep and meaningful stuff. Hmm anyway also want to really thank my beta readers…luv you all!


	6. Chapter 5: Keep it secret Keep it safe

The Lady of the Rings 

Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel

Inspirationalists/co-authors/beta readers: Youko, Alex, Fox and, Kael, Ruby and Talis.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J. R. R. Tolkein's work, especially not Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters. However I do own the difference in personalities and names of the changes in characters though Lulu_Shinigami _and_ Youko_Demon own the two nicknames, Azza and Bozza, which will be in later chapters.

Please don't sue or put pixistix up your nose!

Chapter 5 – Keep it secret, Keep it safe!

Upon walking inside the small hobbitty house, careful to avoid hitting her head, Gynx's gaze fell upon the golden ring that laid upon the ground. 

The air grew thin, as firstly she poked the ring with Malik, running like an idiot when it moved, secondly re-composing herself and finally, slowly bending down to pick up the harmless looking object. However as is the norm with mysterious pieces of jewellery, a dark cloud came over her mind… well darker than usual. 

'Surely not,' she thought, 'please let it not be.'

With the ring almost in her grasp a blinding pain blared across her temple and the great eye appeared in her mind. This was no mere daydream in lala Land where many unspeakable things took place; it was an invasion by the greatest evil in Middle Earth…Sauronica. 

The eye reeked of malevolence, deception and desire (all things that she herself is like when she thinks of a certain Bishi) and it called for the old (Gynx: IM NOT THAT OLD!!! Lys: You're thousands of years old, deal with it.) witch to take the ring in her fingers, so that she may be corrupted by it.

***

The hunched (insert topsy turvey theme here) figure of Gynx stared into the fire as she took a puff on her pipe, but this time there would be no tricks, no spectacular displays of power (damn I must be depressed… did some-one steal her staff, Maliky?). No, her mind was far too heavy to be enjoying life and games at the moment.

For, Gynx the Great was contemplating the future and the past, "Riddles in the dark."

The witch's reverie was unbroken by a panicked voice yelling outside, "FIRE, WAR, THE EVIL DUDES ARE COMING, oh and Belinda, Belinda where for art thou?!"

"My Precious… Precious," Gynx muttered, in an insane type tone remembering… something.

Frolo entered the large (to her that is… gee wiz it's a Match Box House for pete Sake) house and bent down and picked up the ring without a second hesitation (yoink…MINE). "She's gone, hasn't she? She talked for so long about leaving…I didn't think she'd really do it…Gynx?"

Gynx's dazed gaze fell upon the ring and finally she turned to Frolo, really seeing the hobbit. "Belinda's ring…hmm…she's gone to stay with the elves. She's left you Bag End… Fruit-Loop."

Holding out an envelope, she motioned for Frolo to put the ring inside, to which the hobbit complied.

"Along with all her possession. The Ring, it's yours now."

Upon sealing the envelope with a wax stamp she handed it to Frolo.

"Put it somewhere out of sight."

"Where are you going?"

"Like it's any of your business but… there are some things I must see to," said Gynx while gathering her hat and Malik (Maliky!!!).

"What things?" inquired the naïve Frolo.

"Questions and other things. Questions that need answering."

"You've only just arrived. I don't understand."

Gynx halted and turned to her dear little friend, "Neither do I, but then again when have I ever." 

Frolo didn't doubt this statement at all, for one, the Gynx she knew never looked this worried, nor would she ever admit to not knowing all, well maybe.

"Keep it secret, keep it safe, but not in any place obvious and try not to lose it," said Gynx who exited the house, the hobbit making no effort to stop her, why would she risk her life follow an insane person who could blast her to kingdom-kong.

ALYSSA: Yay, it's done. Done done done. Well just that chapter…and there are so many more. There are like Forty chapters for the Fellowship, Fifty for the Two Towers and who knows how many for the Return of the King. It's going to be over one hundred chapters easily, and given an average of a thousand words per chapter, well you do the math. 

Well make sure to hit that little button down there and review me cause I really, really like reviews.


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